Becoming Addicted to JOY?

You can't become addicted to joy. It's a chemical fact. You can become empassioned, devoted and wired for joy, training the brain to return to that state of peace and fulfillment with surges of pleasure coursing through your body.  But addiction is reserved for stress-related attachments.

Getting past them, and wiring the brain to prefer their more effective, sustainable substitute makes the difference between a life of torment and one of admitted irritation, ups and downs, but a stream of joyous feelings that is (almost) always there for you.

Karen talked about coming home right after she separated from her husband, then three children as teens at home, a veritable fountain of support and needs. She was fine at work. (Work is such a vacation!) When she arrived home, in an instant she attached to her external solutions.

Karen said, "The first step into stress is emotional. I go numb. I am home, and am petrified that I won't be able to cope with all the problems. I want to be loving. Instead. I hide out. My thoughts turn repetitive -- What did they do wrong now? How have I messed up this time? My relational external solution is distancing, so I go to my room, close the door and try to pull myself together. Then I know I can't fake it anymore, so I check in with them, really find myself back to at least Brain State 3, and then start controlling them (an intimacy blocker) checking to be sure that they were "perfect" that day. Then I fix dinner, and munch on crackers, and sharp cheddar cheese (more taste for the calories). I am not an addict; I'm a dabbler. I dabble in all the excesses.

What's so rewarding about external solutions is the escape. We don't have to be aware of the moment, lost in thoughts that give us the illusion of control, the emotions that remove us from being present and the luscious behaviors –– all of them –– that spell emotional vacation, and reward.

Joy is another matter. The addictions are sought in survival mode, and coming home after work qualifies as survival mode, so the unstoppable drives are . . . unstoppable. They take neurotransmitters on false highs and unnecessary lows. Joy can't do that.

Getting into the river of stress hormones can last hours, days, months or years. Use the EBT skills and get to 1 and it lasts just a moment, then self-corrects back to stress. It takes two things to do this work. One is to be so sick, tired, and fed up with stress symptoms that you are willing to do the work to be conscious and in joy. The other is to already have the tools, be a happy, positive person, but have an inkling that the best is yet to come. You could be more secure in controlling your emotions and being happy regardless of circumstance.

Consider what motivates you to start EBT? It may be that you want something more in life and are sick of rolling along in stress. On the other hand, you may be a joyful person, but you know that you could be even more effective in creating daily emotional support for yourself.

Either way, developing a passion –– not an addiction –– for joy results in a capacity for intense natural pleasure that is new, and wonderful, and all about your personal experience moment to moment on this planet.

Scientists are still trying to articulate the relationships between stress and joy. Most of us are way ahead of them, but knowing the chemical and electrical dance between the two will move health care forward. The short story is that when in stress, the door closes on the "good" rewards, the eudonic thought that send energy to the septal region of the brain of virtue, enabling it to spring us forward with positive emotions, and them to the pleasure pathways. In stress we can't get those rewards because consciousness is lacking.